Like birth, a new beginning is abrupt. It is a leap, a wild, reckless leap from the safety of the familiar into the vast abundance of the unfamiliar. There are no guarantees. There is no back-up. Just a support base, which may be there if you need it. Or it may not. Or if it is, it may not be enough. You are fragile. In the case of a new beginning you are also conscious of it, so acutely that your awareness of it numbs the very fear which is its source. So the real becomes unreal and you are a baby again, on the way to taking your first tottering steps.
It is Wednesday, 13 July 2011. For some time now we have been contemplating our future like a loving couple gazing at trees splashed golden in the subsiding glow that is the setting sun. After the dark a morning must come, one that is different from the others that have gone before, one that holds a promise whose profundity is such that it is as full of indescribable potential as yesterday’s morning was choked with nothingness. It must come soon, we have decided. Now. Tomorrow perhaps. No, the close of business on Friday. We owe it to our clients. They deserve the courtesy of notice, however brief.
It is 5 pm on Friday, 15 July 2011 when we close our business. All of our clients have been notified: officially we are on sabbatical for a year. So what now?
Nothing. But yet everything. Commitments and undertakings have dissolved into time and opportunity. All is now possible.
I am resolved to devote my time and energy to the following during the year ahead:
- to try and become the kind of person whom a horse will recognise as a leader (I imagine that this will require a significant transformation of the human that is currently me);
- to revisit and study all of Klaus Ferdinand Hempfling’s books, articles, interviews and videos (his is an approach to which I am instinctively and intuitively drawn);
- to write a book (I think there is at least one in me and I just need to discover what it is);
- to find a way of earning an income which will enable me to do what I enjoy (wouldn’t we all?).
Some who read this may be curious to know why I would still want to have anything to do with KFH after what Vicki and I have experienced at his hands (him wanting more than we agreed and failing to refund the deposit after kicking us out of the course represent just one part of it). This is an easy issue to address. There is much I can do with Anaïs and I can usually do it on a loose lead or none at all. I give thanks to KFH for this. Without his books and videos this would not be possible. He has also introduced me to the concept of living in the here and now, which has had a huge impact on me. I also feel that there is still much that I have to learn from him even if at a distance. Discarding the master who dances with horses because he stumbles with humans would therefore be akin to throwing out the baby with the bath water. Best keep the baby, for he is learning to walk.
The KFH books, articles, interviews and videos are obviously ready to hand, so I immediately get to work on that. Deciding where to start is easy: Dancing with Horses, the work to which KFH himself refers readers in his latest book, The Horse Seeks Me. It is also the logical place to start for anyone who is trying to establish the connection with horses with which and only with which, as KFH demonstrates, everything is possible. I have decided to produce a series of reflections on those aspects of my study of KFH’s work which I feel are important primarily to help me clarify my understanding of it. Rereading Dancing with Horses in the light of my experience since first reading it from cover to cover a couple of years ago is an eye-opener. I highly recommend it to anyone who is currently trying to learn from KFH either directly or indirectly. The first article on my reflections has been completed. You can find it here if you are interested.
Although there is much that I can do with Anaïs, like virtually everyone I know, including those dear people who have personally attended his courses, I have not managed to establish the connection that will ultimately allow the mare and I to dance together in the picadero. It is a challenge to leave expectation at the gate and even more difficult to bring joy to the occasion every single time. How can you if you are not experiencing joy in your daily life? There has to be a fundamental change in me and it is now that this must happen. In the meantime I draw inspiration from KFH’s dance with Ferdinand in the field. It is embodied in their asymmetrical play and synchronised movement: la joie de vivre.
The master of horses dancing with Ferdinand at liberty
About 20 minutes after writing the above Vicki and I visited Anaïs to hang out with her and groom her if she was in the mood. She did not really feel like being groomed but she was very interested in a big, red ball. Play time! I took some photos using my mobile phone. The quality is not too good because of movement and poor lighting but you get the picture: the joy of living.
Anaïs inspects the ball
Anaïs smothering the ball
I enjoyed reading Part 1 of your reflections.
So true.
So difficult at times.
Lots of love Peggy.
Dear Peggy
It is difficult at times but it gets easier, especially if you are sensitive to your horse’s response, as you will know from your interaction with your three. We have implemented a new rule: if the ears go back into the neck in an obvious display of objection, we stop whatever we are doing and discuss it. Where possible, we also try and make the most of the element of play.
Ultimately though, it is all about developing a different presence as a human and this will inevitably be reflected in the presence of horses but also in their absence.
Look forward to catching up with you when you are in Europe.
Love
Andrew
Wow looks like you are on a very deep personal journey, I am wondering if Klaus is also about dominating people.
I watched him with the horse in the open paddock it was beautiful to watch, but a thought came to mind… why the rope and the whip? why not just hand movements ?
Hi Laraine
Yes, the decision to attend the one-year course was in response to the need for a deep personal journey. The fact that the course is not going ahead for us has not reduced that need, hence this approach.
My experience of Klaus is that he can only relate to students if they accept his dominance and yield to it. From the reports that I have received from some who have attended his courses, those who do challenge his dominance come under pressure (usually pleasant and courteous but pressure nevertheless) to yield and this is exacerbated by the pressure brought to bear by the majority of other students who do tow the line. However, this is hearsay and should be treated as such.
Yes, it is beautiful to watch Klaus dance with horses. However, you ask why the rope and whip, and why not just hand movements. To my limited knowledge, most of those who only use hand movements to interact with horses are eliciting responses that have been conditioned (using traditional pressure-release techniques, clicker training or the like). As such, the horse’s actions are not spontaneous.
Klaus relies entirely on dominance (his) and trust (the horse’s). Although training does occur, it is largely designed to strengthen the horse, get it to carry itself (collection), and help the human fine-tune his body language with the horse in front of him. As such, the horse’s actions are more spontaneous and because of this the human requires an extension of his hands to communicate in some instances. This is where the whip and rope come in. They are instruments of communication and not violence.
The whip and rope are also used to control the horse in areas where public safety is involved. This is particularly relevant in areas where there may not be any fencing (parts of Lyø) or where farm machinery is used (almost all over Lyø).
Much of Klaus’ approach is set out in his book, Dancing with Horses. I am rereading it and am producing a series of reflections as I go. You can find a link to the first one in the blog. Hope it helps to clarify my understanding of Klaus’ approach.
Be well!
Andrew
Dear Andrew, I have the strong feeling that what you are embarking upon is really great. I did read Eckhart Tolle’s book a couple of years ago. I am reading it again at the moment. Living in the NOW does not mean that you can just change things from day to day. Or from moment to moment for that matter. We humans are no horses. We can try and explore the horse mind and try and become a horse, but we shall never ever be a horse. As Eckhart says living in the NOW doesnot mean that you cannot go back to the past or go forward to the future if that is necessary for practical purposes. So if someone has made an agreement/promise one cannot suddenly change the agreement/promise unless there are really really valid reasons.
And something else I want to say is that I like your unconditionality. Vicky must be very lucky and happy with you.
I received Brian Whetten’s post this morning and thought that it somehow had something to do with (KFH’s) leadership or perhaps absence of true leadership….
If KFH’s dominance is needed to interact with the horses the way he does, KFH will feel the need to dominate every single time. With some horses more with other horses less. As far as my knowledge goes a true leader is as a wise old mare. She need not fight or dominate. Her presence is suficient….
Below has everything to do with the Murdoch situation at this moment::
QUOTE ….But true leadership means moving beyond the desire to win at all costs. It means holding on to the desire to win, but making that secondary to a new desire: the joy that comes from making a positive difference. It means finding a higher purpose – a greater reason for why we get up and go to work each day – something more than just increasing our piles of possessions and power.
Your higher purpose could be to improve the lives of your customers, to turn the challenges of leadership into opportunities for personal growth, or to develop a culture that brings out the best in your people. It could be to give back to your community, to create something the world’s never seen before, or to mentor up and coming leaders. There are many choices. What’s yours?
When we see an executive featured in a corporate scandal, it’s usually because they became addicted to success. They fell into the trap of defining their self worth by how much money, fame and power they possessed. And sooner or later, this addiction consumed them.
In contrast, authentic leaders have developed a healthy respect for their addictions. They recognize just how seductive success can be. They know just how easy it is to become corrupted by power. They understand just how difficult it is to walk the line between true self confidence and arrogance. And because of this, they choose to surround themselves with people who can help them deal with these challenges instead of exacerbating them.
The problem is that it’s a rare executive who’s able to slow down long enough to really deal with this question consciously. Instead, in the face of the never ending pressure to compete harder, change faster and soar higher, many executives just give in to the demands of the moment. Their higher priorities keep getting put off until tomorrow, while the urgent demands of success keep getting honored today.
I doubt that Jeffrey Skilling woke up one day and decided that he wanted to defraud an entire industry. And I doubt that Rupert Murdoch woke up one day and decided that he wanted to build an empire based on replacing honest journalism with “gossip, sensationalism and manufactured controversy.”
There’s a reason why we say that the path to hell is paved with good intentions. Authentic leadership doesn’t just happen. It requires discipline, courage, self-awareness, and external support. It requires shifting from thinking that leadership is about having all the right answers, to realizing that it’s more about asking the right questions. And it requires discovering that above all else, it’s our blind spots we need to watch out for.
Because when an executive gets brought down by a big scandal, they usually don’t have any idea what hit them – until it’s too late. ……UNQUOTE
Warmly to both of you from Geerteke
Dear Geerteke
As always, you are very perceptive. I cannot add anything to your comments on leadership and living in the now.
The question of dominance in relation to horses has the capacity to produce considerable debate. In my rereading of Dancing with Horses I have now moved on to the question of dominance and trust, qualities without which KFH believes it is impossible to do anything with horses. The concept of dominance usually sets red lights flashing and I hope to deal with it in my next instalment of reflections. I also hope to draw on my current reading of Imke Spilker’s Empowered Horses, another ‘must-read’ book for any human contemplating a meaningful relationship with horses.
I suspect that this issue will generate more questions than answers and it would be useful to receive feedback on it, from you in particular. Until the next post.
Be well!
Andrew
A good read Andrew – I will send an email via Vicki.