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Back to Square One



I am more of a ‘hands on’ girl than ‘write down’ girl, which is the reason you do not see me very often here. I need fresh wind in my face rather than a keyboard under my fingers (unless it is a piano or a djembe..), but in order to let you know my side of the story I have to sit down and type.

I watch myself ‘work’ with Petra’s two horses, 2Moons and Kalousha and Kontiki, who belongs to a Dutch friend of Petra’s. I look happy, friendly, with a smile on my face, and with Kalousha and Kontiki my

2Moons confused

2Moons confused

actions are actually quite calm and consistent. There are a few (very few) moments where horse and human ‘meet’, but overall, I completely fail to recognize the moments the horses want to connect. My time with 2Moons only merits an apology towards this brilliant horse and a rebuke towards myself, but as Geerteke points out: there is no real wrong or right – everything happens for a reason, although at the time we often do not realize it! My epiphany only occurs two weeks later.

What was I trying to do in that picadero? What was in it for the horse? Was I using them as stepping stones to improve my ‘body language’? Did any true training actually happen? What is the aim and purpose of liberty or groundwork (or ‘loswerken’ as the Dutch call it)?

These questions became my nightly companions while lying awake again and again, thinking over what I did, why I did it, and what I felt but did not express! It is one major point on my list of ‘behavioural patterns’ which Petra asks us to put together. On that particular day I write down: avoiding possible conflict and then have to look at what benefits I would possibly derive from this pattern. ‘Momentary peace’ I answer, knowing full well that this of course is not a true benefit. Sooner or later, whatever it is, will bite me in the bum so to speak.

Kontiki in a moment of playfulness

Kontiki in a moment of playfulness

And so it goes in my sessions with the horses. I am as much on autopilot as the horses – listening with half an ear to the many well-meant suggestions and advice from Petra. Overall, I apparently do quite well, as both Kalousha and Kontiki trot when I ask for trot, canter when I give the sign to canter, but there is little playfulness, no real joy in these moments. My inexperience shows when I want them to change direction: here the position of body, feet, hands becomes important in order not to give the horse confusing signals.

Kalouscha in trot

Kalouscha in trot

But at the end of it all I am left wondering: what did I actually achieve? The last few days Andrew and I have been discussing our work with the horses in France frequently and I keep coming back to the point of the connection – the ‘true’ connection Andrew was referring to in his posts. I felt a brief moment of togetherness with Kontiki, but this deeper contact was only there after having asked her to go round and round. I am not saying that we mimicked a well-known Natural Horsemanship trainer who gets his type of connection by driving a horse around and then when he sees any sign of submission, draws the horse in. We are not driving Petra’s horses around to find a magic connection, but “simply” to understand how our body position may influence the feet of the horse, at least this is how I understand it.

Back home Andrew and I have endless discussions: I maintain I have never seen Klaus Ferdinand Hempfling ‘use’ any type of ‘lungeing’ as a means to get that magic connection with a horse. He establishes the connection FIRST and then everything after that is pure training, be it through playfulness or focussed attention to help the horse become stronger, to show it how beautiful it can be by shifting more weight to the hindquarters, to free up the shoulder, to find its own balance etc.

Together with Kontiki

Together with Kontiki

That a connection can be established by means of ground work is true: I experienced it with a young horse at one of Chaja Kolthoff’s clinics earlier this year. This mare followed me around and back then I thought: THIS is it, this is the magical connection. But was it? I made her go around, controlling her speed, tempo and direction, occasionally drawing her in until she was right at my side. But should any type of lungeing or training not be preceded by this connection rather than try and get the horse to connect through controlling its feet?

So I came home with these feelings, locked them up in a cupboard so to speak and continued as though nothing had happened within me. It took a session with Pip to realize how far I have drifted away from the dream I had a while ago. Pip is a Warmblood mare that is agisted (kept in livery) at the same stable as Anaïs. Her owner is recuperating from an operation and has allowed me to do some work with Pip. This sensitive mare is very forward, but much on the forehand and I thought groundwork would help her become ‘lighter’. However, I found myself looking at Pip going into her own version of ‘I am here, but I’m not really here’, and again, wondered what I was doing and why and came to the conclusion this is not how I want to be with horses! If I am not capable of establishing that bond first, I have no right to ask any horse to do anything for me, it is that simple.

And simple the whole process should be, as I believe that life itself can be simple once you allow it to be. Where does that leave me, Anaiis, Pip and the ponies? Back to square one I think, out of the picadero into nature where my mind can come to rest.



7 Responses to “Back to Square One”

  1. Dear Vicky,
    Having just returned from the hospital for some more Xrays and an appointment with my trauma surgeon I now know that I have to be patient for another 6 weeks. Until the next appointment with more Xrays. Although he was very pleased with what the Xrays showed he was also very clear :: for the time being no car driving and no horse ‘driving’.
    I felt my breathing getting shallow and quicken.
    I have to start checking my breathing again.
    I have to pay attention to my heart rythm variablity as I will otherwise unwillingly be increasing the adrenaline in my body, which does not help and support the further healing of mind and body.
    Adrenaline which is the result of my feelings of impatience. Although the surgeon at the same time mentions that exactly impatient patients heal better and faster. But then he told me to be realistic and asked me straight in the face if I was sure I could avoid a child running across the road unexpectedly, I knew that I just had to wait for a little while more.
    It means that I still cannot visit Marcello when I feel like it. Fortunately Margaret, who is looking after him 4 days a week, will still be here for another 3 weeks before she returns to Newzealand and will be gone for 4 months. So I remain being faced with a situation that is beyond my control.

    And there starts my response to your blog, Vicky.
    Wanting to have control and having to be patient, and it does not necessarily have to be on the conscious level, can be such an obstacle in so many ways.

    My theory as to KFH is that the connection he has with a horse is also different from moment to moment. There are some connections that ultimately will evolve into one of magnetic proportions and magic-all.
    But what direction or what journey do you choose to get to that destination.
    The round up you have been doing/practicing/training is not wrong. Regard it as a tool you can add to your toolbox. You can at any moment choose which tool you want to use. And sometimes you use different tools in one session.
    And, yes, sometimes there are tools you do not want to use ever again. But to come to such a decision or conclusion one has to have had the experience what the tool is all about.

    Another aspect of KFH is the pauses he takes or uses. In some instances he pauses and pauses and pauses. Perhaps, although he doesnot tell you that or at least I have not heard him telling such a thing, what he does during those pauses could be that he makes contact with the horse through his own body. Starting to feel what his feet feel like. Then his lower legs, upper legs and so on. Is there any tension in his body. Is that him feeling his own tension or perhaps him feeling the horse´s tension. In the meantime breathing deep in and out. Starting establishing a connection through breathing and checking the energy, or ´body field´ as one can also call it, of both horse and human.
    There is nothing mechanical in that.
    There is vibration all over. Going back and forth.
    If the horse still decides not to pay attention, then he might choose to throw the rope At least that is how I have explained his actions to myself observing him during the 8 days Pure Practical Performance in 2010 in Denmark.

    During the Beyond the Waterhole Rituals Clinic at Carolyn’s place in Escondido, December 2011, on the crispy morning of Day 2 we were asked three questions::

    1. How do you want the horse to see you?
    2. What do you want to get out of it?
    3. How do you expect to treat a horse and how do you expect a horse to treat you?

    I have decided not to give you my answers as yet.
    I would love to hear your answers first.
    I think that looking at one’s own behavioural patterns can certainly be very helpful. I myself, however, will come across those aspect sooner rather than later. However painful it may sometimes turn out to be. And I have had the feeling that above 3 questions and my answers that surfaced instantenously, have given me a kind of a shortcut. Which doesnot mean that all pitfalls have disappeared just like that. Far from it. 🙂

    QUOTE….But should any type of lungeing or training not be preceded by this connection rather than try and get the horse to connect through controlling its feet?…………… It took a session with Pip to realize how far I have drifted away from the dream I had a while ago…………….. However, I found myself looking at Pip going into her own version of ‘I am here, but I’m not really here’, and again, wondered what I was doing and why and came to the conclusion this is not how I want to be with horses! If I am not capable of establishing that bond first, I have no right to ask any horse to do anything for me, it is that simple……….. Back to square one I think, out of the picadero into nature where my mind can come to rest……………..UNQUOTE

    Dearest Vicky, you have definitely NOT gone back to square one. In my view and feeling you have made a quantum leap forward. You have had a so-called horse&human sighting. CONGRATULATIONS. I wish you to feel very proud of yourself!!!
    I want to conclude with a comment on the ´playful´ photograph of you and Kontiki. The mare there has adopted a so-called vertical balance. With most of her weight on the hind legs. A situation you would like to have achieved.
    QUOTE…….What did I actually achieve?…..UNQUOTE
    You achieved THAT there and then, Vicky. The mare rounding her neck is part of her rounding her complete topline. One cannot be there/exist without the other. At the same time achieving the lightness in the shoulder area. This is definitely another reason to be proud of. Although you appear to have missed it. But that is okay. I am here to point that out to you and I gladly do with gratitude.
    Warmly, Geerteke

    • Vicki says:

      Dear Geerteke

      Thank you so much for all your contributions here; I find it heartwarming to be able to share your and other people’s ideas and insights.

      As we all start to become more aware of our interaction with other humans, animals and nature, I am sure we will become more aware of our own body as well, of its possibilities and limitations. I think you will find you can give yourself the ‘go ahead’ once you feel your body is ready, whether that occurs prior to, at the moment of or after your surgeon’s advice.

      I am sorry to hear that your assistant (with Marcello) is returning to New Zealand and am wondering whether somenone else at the stables may offer to help you out.

      Starting establishing a connection through breathing and checking the energy, or ´body field´ as one can also call it, of both horse and human. There is nothing mechanical in that. There is vibration all over. Going back and forth.

      Yes, I can agree with you on your observations re KFH and I think this ‘waiting’ and ‘not wanting’ is the aspect which is so hard. We were often told we were ‘doing too much’, indeed that less is more, but how much is too much? Once that energy is flowing between human and horse, that question will of ocurse be irrelevant, and one moment the human will be leading, the next moment will be led.

      And now to your questions which resulted in an interesting discussion between Andrew and myself.

      How do I want the horse to see me?
      The initial words I quickly started jotting down were ‘I want my horse to see me as…’ then paused and read my paragraph above in which I pointed out how difficult it is to NOT WANT anything from the horse! So should I WANT my horse to see me as this or that particular person with those qualities? Not, if I believe my own words that the wanting can kill the very thing I would like to achieve in myself. Thus the horse will see me as it sees me.

      What do I want to get out of it?
      As this question was asked by Carolyn Resnick in your course with her, I assume ‘it’ refers to the course? But let me formulate my reply based on ‘the connection between human and horse’.
      I want to be the kind of human my horse wishes to be with, I want to be the kind of human my horse can trust, and I want to be the kind of human who understands my horse in my role of both teacher and friend. When I manage to be a content and balanced person, both in mind and body, I can help my horse become a stronger, happier and more balanced horse.

      How do you expect to treat a horse and how do you expect it to treat you?
      Again, I only want to address the first part of the question as the second part will fall into place once I get the first part right. I want to treat my horse with respect, kindness, and empathy. I wish to empower my horse and thus give it every choice to show me at any point what it needs or wants. I expect to offer my horse open channels of communication at all times in which I feel confident as both a teacher and a friend.

      Geerteke, when I look at my answers above, and then again to my experience with the horses (both in France and at times here in the Netherlands) I ask myself whether it is right to ‘use’ the horse as a ‘prop’ or ‘feedback’ to learn to master those qualities that will ultimately enable us to be with our horses where the connection is just there, where the energy flowing between horse and human is like ‘two united in one’? This, I think, is my underlying question! The process is ultimately learning more about myself: how do I move? How much am I in control of my body, meaning can I notice where any tension is coming from and how can I remove that tension? How do I cope/feel about my environment? How do I find happiness within myself BEFORE I go to the horses etc.

      I try to remember what I felt when Kontiki became ‘playful’. It was a wonderful moment we shared where during a few canter strides, the energy just seemed to ‘flow’. Yet while her body gives the impression of happiness, her ears are back. Why? Do I have too much energy in my body for her, or the wrong kind or am I not giving her enough support to show her she can maintain this balance longer than the few seconds it lasted? The more questions I ask and the more I read, the more I get the feeling I know so little!

      Thanks Geerteke for being here and I wish you a speedy recovery!
      Take care,

  2. Heather Binns says:

    Hi Vicki,

    Nice to see you writing on your blog. I think what you are questioning are very good questions. Also I have just sent you the final newsletter I’ve written. When Klaus is lungeing, he is always ‘supporting’ the horse. And he never WANTS. And that is hard for us! We so want to feel that connection. Since coming home I haven’t ‘tried’ for anything! Also – my picadero is in ruins at the moment! But each day, I spend time with the four horses. And I’ve noticed little things – little changes – without me really trying.

    After they are fed, they are brushed etc. Then they all get some apple or carrot. They know it’s coming – but each horse knows they have to wait their turn and stay in their spot. I don’t remember actually ‘teaching’ them that – it just seemed to happen! Particularly Ducati – who can be aggressive and lunge at the other horses. Magnum waits up at the gate – even if it’s open. Saadi and Ducati get theirs first, followed by Danny – then Magnum – then there is another round as I collect feed buckets – so Magnum gets his second piece – followed by Danny, Saadi and Ducati.

    I only thought about it the other day – how it just fell into place – and I don’t really know how it happened. What I’m getting at is that perhaps a connection will just fall into place – it will just be there! As long as you are clear, focused, grounded, calm etc. I have found I am much more at peace – and so enjoying just being here – living a quiet life. Now I have stopped rushing around, perhaps the horses have noticed! I don’t know!

    In the newsletter I talk about ‘fine tuning’ some exercises – looking at the details – having the time and space to look at the details. Of course, we come home to the ‘brown world’ and it is not so easy – but I am creating my own quiet world here (without fully becoming a hermit!) and I think it is paying off.
    And remember one of Klaus’ favourite sayings – NEVER HASTE!

    Keep going though with your good work – and no – you are not back to square one!


    • Vicki says:

      Hi Heather

      Thank you for sending your last newsletter. It could not have come at a better time as I seem to be exploring these very thoughts and ideas!

      Yes, you are right to point out that Klaus is always supporting the horse when lungeing; the connection is there and he is able to support the horse and the horse is ready to accept this support. I noticed a similar approach in some of Imke Spilker’s pictures: the horse is actually looking for the support and you can almost see him ‘grow’ when he realizes how he can use his body in a better way.

      I love your story of how things just fell into place with your four horses and I am sure you will find your own unique way of interacting with them. It is something that is becoming increasingly clear to me: whoever we may look to as a teacher or example, ultimately it is our own journey with our own horses in our own unique way that will show us our progress.

      Of course, we come home to the ‘brown world’ and it is not so easy – but I am creating my own quiet world here (without fully becoming a hermit!) and I think it is paying off.

      Heather, I know Klaus repeatedly refers to our world as ‘the brown’ or ‘the grey world’ (at least I think he used the word grey back in 2010), I have to disagree with this concept of our world. We all live in ONE world; one can decide to turn one’s back to that world and live on an island in relative isolation and be really negative about the ‘real’ world out there. But how can we truly make a difference or set an example if we do not love this world of ours, if we can’t accept it for what it is, including the beautiful side of humanity but also its darker side?

      I totally agree with the ‘never haste’ part! Now, when I go to Anaiis and/or Pip, I make sure I have all the time in the world and no immediate appointments that could possibly interfere with quality time. Tomorrow, Andrew and I hope to take Anaiis and Pip for a walk together in the forest – a first for Pip, who has never been hand-walked but has only been ridden outdoors.

      I look forward to hearing more about your journey!


  3. Lynne Gerard says:

    “If I am not capable of establishing that bond first, I have no right to ask any horse to do anything for me, it is that simple.

    And simple the whole process should be, as I believe that life itself can be simple once you allow it to be. Where does that leave me, Anaiis, Pip and the ponies? Back to square one I think, out of the picadero into nature where my mind can come to rest.”

    Dear Vicki,

    I feel you have come full circle, rather than return to square one (the cycles of life are circular, not square it seems to me) and this time as you begin again, you have a heightened clarity of what is most meaningful to you.  When you blend this with what is most meaningful to the horses in their relations with humans your new beginning will be more harmonious and better able to flow naturally day to day.

    I hope you don’t mind me putting in a few quotes from some of revered authors, which seemed to me might provide you some validation and inspiration.  They are “out of context” but you are familiar enough with at least Hempfling and Spilker to appreciate the foundation from which they come.

    “Everything must always start at the beginning and must always begin with the subtlest connections…How would life be if every morning were like a new gentle birth?  Everything is open; everything is fresh.”  -KFH / What Horses Reveal pg.149)

    “I hope that, at the very minimum, you turn away from these pages with an unshakeable respect for horses and a determination to treat them with consideration.  I hope this book also leads to a resolve to gain the horse’s confidence; to be honest and open; to try and understand whether the horse likes what you are doing with him; to ask yourself if you are doing something for your convenience or the horse’s interest; to channel all instruction through enjoyment; to strive to develop the horse’s intelligence and initiative; and to learn to watch and listen, and thereby develop your own powers of observation.” –Frédéric Pignon / Gallop to Freedom pg. 181

    “What can greatly help us to develop this sensitivity is our kinesthetic sense–the image of movement we create for ourselves when we are in an intense exchange with a horse while working on the ground.  If we are emotionally involved as we observe our horse, it will improve this sense and we intuitively begin to give the right movement in response…He understands our aids as an expression of solicitousness, affection, and responsibility, even when they are occasionally clumsy.  We do not have to be perfect.” –Imke Spilker / Empowered Horses pg.188

    Your personal reflections and the simple remedy you’ve declared surely resonate with me.  I believe grounding yourself in nature is what allows for spontaneous connections to flower along with a primal “knowing” that provides guidance on further development of yourself and horse/human relationships.

    What an exciting place for you to be!


    • Vicki says:

      Dear Lynne

      (Everything must always start at the beginning and must always begin with the subtlest connections) is something Klaus would very often refer to during clinics: every meeting with your horse is indeed a new beginning and provides new opportunities for creating a magical connection. Each morning when I wake up amidst the beautiful songs from many different birds that live in the forest surrounding our holiday cottage I am reminded how precious this ‘new’ beginning of another day is. THAT feeling is what I would like to bring to the horses each and every day!

      Frederic Pignon’s book ‘Gallop to Freedom’ has been on my extensive wish list for quite some time now. I have not watched many videos/clips featuring him and his wife, but am glad his name has come up again here. If he lives according to the words quoted, I can only nod my head in agreement. Reading Margrit’s reply to our latest blog, I somehow hoped she meant Frederic’s brother, Jean-Francois, as I definitely did not like his way of interacting with his horses when I watched him at Horse Event last year in the Netherlands. However, I am also very much aware, that when we meet a particular trainer in real life, he or she can fail to live up to our expectations created by carefully edited videos or well-written books with beautiful pictures.

      Oh, how much I love this book of Imke Spilker! Your quote from it enticed me to pick it up once again and I would like to finish with another quote from the same page regarding the journey towards perfection: “Basically, the subject of this book (Empowered Horses, p 188) is nothing other than how to support and help the horse in his quest to perfect himself”.

      This, indeed, is an exciting place to be!


  4. Dear Vicky, here is my response. I wish you and Andrew all the best. And I am very grateful for having the opportunity to contribute. It is VERY worthwhile for me as well.

    Thank you very much for your support, Vicky. Just by putting these words in writing it creates a feeling in me that makes me feel nourished and protected. Cared for. Your words apparently carry that energy! Well not apparently, but definitely! Would it not be a wonderful idea if one could express words of that kind when we are interacting with our horse? The energy of the words being radiated by our body field. The energy of our body field being picked up by our horse. Perhaps when we have a sort of neutral body position there will be no confusion between body language, which is also energy, and the energy of the words (or thoughts if one prefers that) .
    The neutral body position not interfering as it were with the energy of thoughts and thus becoming completely congruent? In the 4th dimension and above where there is communication through thoughts, so there is no thinking one and saying the other which invites us to be honest, unconditional and without prejudice, it is a normal practice. Sadly not to be proven scientifically yet although it might get scientific prove in the future.

    I have decided to move to another boarding facility. At this moment we are doing trailer training and Marcello will be moved beginning March. At the new stables he will have the space to spend time in a herd and be out for a couple of hours every day. So he will get his exercise through interacting. At the same time I look forward to observing herd behaviour and broaden my knowledge there.

    Perhaps, Vicky, here it would be a challenge to look at the neutral body position at first. And let the thought decide the body position. Or body language. Would it not be wonderful if we could let our body language be determined by our thoughts. Or our visualisations. And the body be the expression of that. I remember that a lot of attention is paid to body awareness. Is there, however, attention paid to what direction the thoughts go during the body awareness sessions? One can be aware of one´s body even though the mind wanders off. Total awareness of the body can be achieved for a short period of time. I am convinced. It can even be for a longer period of time. However, I have the feeling that that needs quite a lot of practice. We need to master something there. But how about trying to master all that and at the same time creating waves big or small that make that what we want to achieve being ´pushed´ away.

    Of course some smart cookie may say `horses can´t think´. I know. I am not really talking about projecting on horses human thinking. I am talking about the energy thoughts produce. Or actually the feeling thoughts produce and the energy that is attached to feelings. That is something familiar to horses. I think or should I say I have the feeling that that could be the case. However, if you have a different opinion please let me know.

    `Waiting´ and ´not wanting´ brings the energy down. As opposed to up. Creating relaxation. Relaxation creating space for things to happen. For evolution to take place. On day 1 I was asked by Carolyn to interact with a horse. I was the first one asked to interact with a horse that had had bad human experiences. On the very first day. A huge challenge for me in many ways. The plan was that I would do the so-called Pile-of-Hay-Game. Leading the horse away from the hay and leading it back again.
    However, when I entered the hillside paddock the horse was standing in a corner with its hindquarters turned to the inside. I almost felt as if KFH´s energy or a KFH-like energy got into me. It was a strange and weird sensation. I stood there. Watching or observing the horse. Not wanting anything. Just being. Feeling and letting my energy drop. Then the horse slowly turned around. Stood there watching and observing me. Slowly the horse started walking towards me. I was still not wanting. Just being. I took a few steps in its direction and then asked him to halt. Hearing KFH saying `distance is the key entrance to friendship´. The horse halted. I waited a little while longer then approached him. I said hello and walked away. There was total quietness. You could hear a pin drop and that was quite something in the sand!

    When I walked away the horse walked to the pile of hay. I now realise the horse had at that moment decided not to connect with me. Or perhaps what happened was that he had connected with me by turning around and approaching me. Then me walking away after saying hello he might have interpreted that as me disconnecting from him which gave him the time and space and opportunity to walk over to the pile of hay. But that was okay. And then the wanting part gets into the story. I had a talk with Carolyn about what she wanted me to do next. If she wanted me to DO ANYTHING next. I had such a good feeling about what had taken place that I would have been perfectly okay if I had been given permission to leave the paddock. However, I was asked to tell the horse to move away from the pile of hay which I did by taking property of that space as it were. How do YOU, Vicky, feel about that?

    In one of KFH´s last video´s with a PRE horse of one of the 1-year schooling participants KFH takes possession of the corner the PRE stallion wants to be in. What do you consider that to be? Is KFH wanting the stallion not be in that corner? Is the PRE stallion wanting to be in that corner for whatever horse reasons? Is KFH wanting the stallion to understand or to feel who is the leader at that moment. There is ´wanting´ everywhere. Isn´t there? Is it perhaps not a matter of not being attached to the outcome of the wanting that is perhaps more important. Then the ´wanting´ or ´not wanting´ gets a different energy as it does not matter if you do or don´t get what you want. Either way it is okay. And then in the end is it not all again about the JOURNEY and not about the destination.

    My answers to the 3 questions were:
    1. dependable – Carolyn reacted to that one with `that is a point of interest` – which can be attached to `I want my horse to find me interesting enough to connect with`
    2. NES – awareNESs – magical and magnetic connection – happy horses and happy people – earn a living and a bit more
    3. with respect

    True true true, Vicky. If we would think we have the right to ´use´ the horse, don´t you think the horse has the right to ´use´ us by making clear through his behaviour in whatever way whether or not it feels we are listening or not. That way the horse teaches us to be more in tune with nature. Also perhaps our own nature so we can learn.

    The horse gives us feedback. We give feedback to the horse. I fully agree with you that it is something magical to have the energy flowing between horse and human like ´two united in one´. However, I think/feel that can only take place when there is mutual learning. Feedback going back and forth. Being eachothers ´prop´. Being the leader one moment and being led the other.

    I have the feeling that perhaps you had too much energy in your body. Too much energy can also push the horse out of balance. I.e. make it experience a feeling of not being supported. But that is okay, Vicky. The horse is giving you feedback. Feedback you want, because you want to learn. So how about just letting your energy drop the next time you work with Anaiis for example and just wait and see what her reaction will be. You might even communicate with her that you would be grateful for her to show you what she is feeling when you are dropping your energy half way or all the way to the ground. Just push your energy down with your hands. Literally if you find it difficult to visualize. But I have no doubts you can do that really well.

    The horse doesn´t necessarily have to be in a lungeing position when you are doing that. But I am not going to tell you what you should do. Be creative. Use your own creative talents. You have so many. And yes – the more you read and or ask questions the more one can get the feeling of knowing so little. The beautiful thing is, however, that we know all without knowing. The ALL is hidden behind our feelings on inadequacy. Our imagined shortcomings.

    As Eckhart says `stay in the NOW but don´t stop thinking`. And feeling of course 🙂 .